[ Naive as Hana may be to find herself in this situation...
She's not oblivious. There isn't a single second of any of this that passes where Hana isn't aware of what exactly is going on. She understands. The reason that Dick doesn't even bother taking his mask off, why he hasn't said a single word much less her name -
why he hasn't looked her in the eyes even once since they started kissing.
God, how many times has she wished for this to happen? To be in his arms and have him kissing her as thoroughly as he is? How many times has she laid awake at night wishing she could be in his bed the way that she is now, at this moment?
Had she imagined that it would hurt this much?
Every article of clothing that gets discarded feels just feels like another step into territory that they shouldn't be in. But she does nothing to stop it, even encouraging it by keeping her arms wrapped around him even as he's pressing down on her, by kissing him back. By looking into his eyes, baring all of the love that she's harbored, unrequited, for him for all this time - and finding nothing but emptiness behind them.
She's not oblivious. She understands that at the moment, she's merely a convenient body to have, to seek warmth from. And warmth, she'll give. She'll give him whatever he wants. Even if it means stifling her own voice - because if she gets loud, it'll disturb him, it'll bring him back into the reality where he's pouring this all out to Hana Song, when she knows he would rather be somewhere else. So much that her arms drop away from him, and she presses the back of her hand against her lips to muffle the little whines and moans that she just can't help but give, the way he's moving on and touching her.
Dick is hurting, she knows. But she wonders if he understands how much he's now hurting her to know that the only thing she's ever wanted from him now pains her to receive. ]
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She's not oblivious. There isn't a single second of any of this that passes where Hana isn't aware of what exactly is going on. She understands. The reason that Dick doesn't even bother taking his mask off, why he hasn't said a single word much less her name -
why he hasn't looked her in the eyes even once since they started kissing.
God, how many times has she wished for this to happen? To be in his arms and have him kissing her as thoroughly as he is? How many times has she laid awake at night wishing she could be in his bed the way that she is now, at this moment?
Had she imagined that it would hurt this much?
Every article of clothing that gets discarded feels just feels like another step into territory that they shouldn't be in. But she does nothing to stop it, even encouraging it by keeping her arms wrapped around him even as he's pressing down on her, by kissing him back. By looking into his eyes, baring all of the love that she's harbored, unrequited, for him for all this time - and finding nothing but emptiness behind them.
She's not oblivious. She understands that at the moment, she's merely a convenient body to have, to seek warmth from. And warmth, she'll give. She'll give him whatever he wants. Even if it means stifling her own voice - because if she gets loud, it'll disturb him, it'll bring him back into the reality where he's pouring this all out to Hana Song, when she knows he would rather be somewhere else. So much that her arms drop away from him, and she presses the back of her hand against her lips to muffle the little whines and moans that she just can't help but give, the way he's moving on and touching her.
Dick is hurting, she knows. But she wonders if he understands how much he's now hurting her to know that the only thing she's ever wanted from him now pains her to receive. ]