Nightbunny ( PSL with bunnyhopped )

[bildungsromans]

Dick Grayson (bildungsromans) and Hana Song (bunnyhopped)

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[bildungsromans]

[ It's true - she'll never be enough for him. But in time, she'll find that she shouldn't want that. See, she'll never be enough for him because she'll always ask for more than Dick's willing to give - than Dick's capable of giving. He's far too heartbroken now, and even if he eventually healed... how emotionally available would he even be when the healing fails to make his scars disappear?

Until then, he takes advantage of the moment. He lets Hana have her way with him, use his body however she pleases, though it's clear that while her intentions aren't ideal... she still cares for Dick. In a mission, Dick would stop at nothing to protect Hana - they'd have even been good friends if not for the strange distance between them before this point. But now, the strongest feelings he has for her are strictly professional - she's only a colleague, a friend from work, and nothing more. So the reason they're doing this, the reason Hana's tending to Dick so loyally now... is because she's here and she wants this. Dick wants this too, of course, and almost even wants her, but it's a temporary fixation.

Something to fill the void.

It doesn't stop him from brushing stray bangs from her face and holding her hair back as she sucks him off. Believe it or not, he wants to see her do this, and watch as she progresses to the base before shifting back. He won't deny how good this feels, how pleasant a distraction it is from his pain. The longer Hana goes on, Dick can't even drift off to think about work again. ]

Attagirl...

[ He's already having a hard time breathing serenely, and even groans as Hana's undivided attention pays off. ]

[bunnyhopped]

[ If nothing else, she can do this for him.

Hana continues her ministrations, this time introducing her fingers back into it by moving her hand up and down in conjunction with the way her mouth moves up and down him. Each time she takes him in, she takes him in deeper; her brows furrow in the effort that she exerts to suppress her reflexes, but the groans that she gives in response to his suggest that she's enjoying this - and she is. She's wanted him like this for so long. And if this ends up being the only time they'll ever be together like this, even if it's all built upon hurt and hollowness and lies... At least his body responds to her.

She picks up the pace, now, and alternates between sucking on his tip at each withdraw and running, flicking her tongue over it before her mouth closes around him again. Soon, she does away with that entirely as her head merely bobs up and down along his length along with her hand. And in spite of what her mind tells her, she lifts her gaze to look at him as she does all of this, yearning for some sort of connection even when she knows she won't find one. Wanting to see how he's responding, if at all. Hoping to whatever higher powers are up there that he's not just letting her do this while he blankly stares out the window. That he's still here with her, somehow. ]

[bildungsromans]

[ Fortunately, he's doing everything short of staring out the window. Though that means his investment in the situation is largely absent, at least he's still reacting to Hana's every touch. Every stroke and every suck of Hana's delivers sensations that keep Dick focused on the feeling of each moment, his eyes closed as - admittedly - it's not even Hana he's imagining. Her dedication pays off, however, as she gets Dick to moan slightly, to grunt and grit his teeth as he tries to stomach so much pleasure in rapid succession. It's only natural, though, only the purely physiological responses that Dick would inevitably show under the right sensations. ]

Close...

[ He whispers at her, far too engrossed in her actions to properly articulate his own words. Her pace may quicken and she may suck him harder in reply, but it's absolutely certain that her forthcoming actions bring Dick to climax. He finishes in her mouth, hardly saying much as he tenses up at the peak of his own pleasure. Sure, he grunts and moans even more, but there's an obvious attempt to subdue himself. He could be so much louder than this, and yet...

He isn't. ]

[bunnyhopped]

[ Close does indeed spur her into further action, doing exactly what he might expect, taking him in and withdrawing more rapidly, sucking on him harder with each thrust, until she can feel his cum spilling into her mouth, at which point she stops, hand stroking and taking over what her mouth had just been doing as she bids him to pump that warmth into her mouth, down her throat. She moans as well, sated with the fact that she managed to please him, too.

Even though she knows that he's holding back; she knows that he's not giving her all of him, and he never will.

She swallows down his cum once he's completely finished, and only then does she finally pull herself away from him, now sitting in front of him with her legs tucked beneath her - and his eyes are still closed.

Hana has to wonder - when his eyes close, does he see her? Is he letting Hana do all of this just so he can close his eyes and imagine someone else in her place?

Of course he is.

But Hana is far too broken to care, now. Far too lost in the tug of war in her soul between the fiery D.Va and the scared, emotional Hana. Far too lost in her love for him, however twisted and toxic it's become, especially as of this very moment.

It hurts. There's nothing she wants more than Dick's affection. But him using her -

that'll do.

Who's really using who, here?

Hana bows her head in shame, taking a deep breath before she says, ]

I'm sorry.

[ A beat, then: ]

I can leave if you want me to. I won't - I won't bother you anymore. I'll stay away again, I just - I'm so sorry, Dick.

[bildungsromans]

Don't apologize.

And...

[ He almost stops short of saying it, but-- ]

Don't go.

[ Maybe he's using her. Maybe she's using him. Maybe they're using each other.

Either way, it's ugly, it's painful, and it's mortifying, but... for the both of them, it's clearly what they feel they need.

What they both deserve.

His hand reaches for her wrist, the physical contact cementing his resolve. ]

Just... stay the night. Please.

That's all I ask.

[ Why his sudden need for this? Though Hana wouldn't be foolish enough to believe Dick wants her to stick around, the fleeting fantasy of it must be tempting.

It's likely preferable to the reality of it - that Dick's willing to take whatever warmth and intimacy he can get, whatever body he can hold onto and hold closely until the night passes.

After all, that seems to be precisely what Hana is to him.

A body. ]

[bunnyhopped]

[ All she's ever wanted was to hear him ask her to stay. Even before Dick fell in love with someone else - all she ever wanted was to hear him ask her to stay, just a while longer after all those times they would grab coffee together, just a while longer after training, don't go whenever she had to leave to return to Korea for a military engagement, just stay. Don't go. God only knows how many times she's had to keep herself from asking the same of him over these years.

She could never even hope for an I love you, too. How could she? She's known all this time that he would never come to love her. He wouldn't when she was at her best - when she was a bright-eyed young woman who was passionate about defending her country and the world - and her certainly wouldn't as she fell, as surmounting pressure and expectations piled one after another on D.Va made Hana Song retreat into a shell, made her into a girl who was afraid of failing, afraid of letting people down, afraid of dying, afraid of herself. She knew Dick would never love her like that - and she was right, because he fell in love with someone else.

Yet here he is at present, finally asking her to stay...

She swallows thickly, bowing her head down so he can't see the way her eyes are welling up with tears. Her response is silent at first - but she nods in agreement. ]

Alright.

[ She moves away from him, though, until she's at the edge of the bed. ]

Just let me wash up first. Okay? I'll be right back.

[ There's a sense of urgency to the way she moves out of the room and into the bathroom. As soon as the door closes behind her the tears spill over and almost blindly, she manages to get the shower going - as hot as her body can physically handle. Even if it hurts a little, it can't compare to the aching in her heart. Against the walls of the shower she crumples, drawing her knees up to her chest as she curls up into a ball and just cries as silently as she can manage. ]

[bildungsromans]

[ As silently as she can manage? Sure, Dick can't quite hear her crying, but he sure as hell can guess that's what she's doing right now. After all that, how could she not cry?

Dick could only sit back in shame, knowing full well what he did - what they both did - was wrong, only... he's trying to find reasons to care. To see why it matters that this was wrong, especially after everything he's lost. How transgressive could this have been, really? Who, other than himself and Hana, had anything to lose because of this?

Dick certainly had nothing left to lose.

He sits on the edge of the bed solemnly, lost in a haze of mental abstraction as he listens to the shower running. Part of him wonders what to say, how to properly address any of this... but the damage has clearly been done. There might be nothing left to say, only things left to do.

Like more of this. Dick knows this won't be the last night Hana comes to him, or he comes to Hana.

Because no matter how depraved this is, how despicable... the two of them clearly need each other.

Their affections. Their bodies.

With nothing left to lose, that might be the most they can salvage. ]